Flashback Friday: Step 1: Make sure you have performed Step 0

opinion
Apr 5, 20192 mins

Is this thing on?

It’s the mid-1990s, and this pilot fish works as a software developer at a big insurance company where his focus is applications — applications from potential customers for new life-insurance policies, that is.

“Our new-business data entry is the start of all applications entering our company,” says fish. “We’ve got a large networked piece of software that is critical to the processing of all these new applications, using a glorified desktop as a server.”

One morning, fish stops by the data entry department on his way upstairs, and he can tell right away that something’s wrong. Everyone is standing around in little groups talking instead of working.

As soon as someone spots fish, he’s ushered over to the server. It seems that no one has been able to get the new-business data entry program to start. Can fish help?

Noticing that the monitor’s power light isn’t on, fish reaches up and flips the power switch for the monitor and waits for the image to appear.

“A few seconds later, I hear from behind me in a startlingly amazed voice, ‘What’d you do?’” fish reports.

“Apparently, they rebooted the server several times, waiting for it to start up — and never saw their welcome screen because the monitor was powered off.”

Sharky welcomes your true tale of IT life at sharky@computerworld.com. You can also subscribe to the Daily Shark Newsletter and read some great old tales in the Sharkives.

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Questions that Sharky gets a lot

Q: What's a pilot fish?

A: There are two answers to that question. One is the Mother Nature version: Pilot fish are small fish that swim just ahead of sharks. When the shark changes direction, so do the pilot fish. When you watch underwater video of it, it looks like the idea to change direction occurred simultaneously to shark and pilot fish.

Thing is, sharks go pretty much anywhere they want, eating pretty much whatever they want. They lunge and tear and snatch, but in so doing, leave plenty of smorgasbord for the nimble pilot fish.

The IT version: A pilot fish is someone who swims with the sharks of enterprise IT -- and lives to tell the tale. Just like in nature, a moment's inattention could end the pilot fish's career. That's life at the reef.

Q: Are all the Sharky stories true?

A: Yes, as best we can determine.

Q: Where do the Sharky tales come from?

A: From readers. Sharky just reads and rewrites and basks in the reflected glory of you, our readers. It is as that famous fish-friendly philosopher Spinoza said, "He that can carp in the most eloquent or acute manner at the weakness of the human mind is held by his fellows as almost divine."

Q: Do I have to write my story in Sharky-ese?

A: No. Not at all. Just be sure to give us details. What happened, to whom, what he said, what she said, how it all worked out. If Sharky likes your tale of perfidy, heroism or just plain weirdness at your IT shop, he will supply his particular brand of Shark snark.

Q: I've got a really funny story, but I could get fired if my old trout of a boss found out I told you. How confidential is what I send to Sharky?

A: We don't publish names: yours, your boss's, your trout's, your company's. We try to file off the serial numbers, though there's no absolute guarantee that someone who lived through the incident won't recognize himself. Our aim is to share the outrageous, knee-slapping, milk-squirting-out-your-nose funny tales that abound in the IT world, not to get you fired. That would not be funny.

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Q: Where are the Sharkives?

Tales of old can be found in Sharky's archive.

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